The whole 'Me Before You' thing

Okay, given that I am physically disabled, I’ve been asked about this by a few people, and given that I have a lot of disabled people on my Facebook it’s been a difficult thing for me to get away from. (On a side note I don’t enjoy writing about disability, be it mine or just in general, I don’t find it difficult to talk about or anything, it’s just that the many disabled people I know (went to a special needs school so there are a fair few) seem to constantly complain about only being identified as disabled people, but then talk about nothing else, and I kind of think, if you want to be recognised for other things, then you should show people something else, rather than just complain, I’ll answer questions if they’re asked but it’s not something I like to focus on.)

For those reading who may not know, Me Before You is a drama film based on a novel of the same name, that as far as I can gather is about a disabled guy that falls in love with his caregiver and eventually kills himself rather than live like that and burden her with his care, so it’s basically like Million Dollar Baby but without all the Clint Eastwood and boxing.

For the people who basically want to know my opinion, I don’t really have one, I haven’t seen the film, and I don’t think I will. It just doesn’t seem like the kind of thing I’d enjoy, and after having read some reviews it doesn’t sound like a particularly good version of that kind of thing for those that do, even independent of the controversy (such as it is).

Okay so let’s start with why people are upset, I just gave a brief summary and probably huge oversimplification of the plot, after a bit of research there isn’t that much more to it apart from the minor details that the guy was not born disabled and acquired a spinal injury and with it quadriplegia, and that he’s also rich because if he wasn’t finding him attractive would just be weird wouldn’t it?

Essentially the reason people are upset is because the film allegedly romanticises suicide for the disabled, or at least normalises it, enforcing the idea that a life with a disability is not worth living and that disability and dignity are mutually exclusive, which is far from a new thing in cinema (all while using the hilariously hypocritical tagline “live boldly”, a reference to the character’s last words to his caregiver via a letter) which is mixed messages to say the least (interestingly, apparently in the book he simply asked her to “live well” which is slightly less contradictory, and makes me wonder why they went with the change,) I’ve heard a lot of people call this a “disability snuff film.”

To be absolutely honest my biggest criticism of that premise is not that I find it offensive, I just find it lazy, a cheap shot at trying to get a sad ending in there to make the film more affecting than it has earned the right to be (remembering of course that all of this is conjecture, I’ve not seen the film and probably won’t.) and it hints at a lack of research, I can’t speak to the experience either, as I don’t have quadriplegia, though people seem to think that since I use a wheelchair that’s close enough, It really isn’t.

Again, I don’t have quadriplegia, so I don’t feel in the right to complain about any portrayal of it, I can’t honestly say I wouldn’t consider suicide because I don’t know what it’s like, for someone with Cerebral Palsy I’m actually quite low on the scale of actually being handicapped by it, I use a wheelchair outside, but I could easily get about on my knees without one if it were socially acceptable to do so outside of my house, I was also born with it, so I can’t speak to the shock of suddenly acquiring a disability as I’ve never known anything else. That said, the suicide thing does strike me as a lazy stock ending, this film in my eyes is guiltier of failing to raise my interest than offending me.

The thing that annoys me most about the whole situation surrounding this film, is the bombardment of assumptions that I, along with any other even slightly disabled people, regardless of severity, circumstance or context, must give a shit, I really don’t. As far as I’m concerned this whole debacle has only served to allow an average-to-mediocre film (if the critics consensus on Rotten Tomatoes is to be believed) more attention than it deserved to have, which only helps the film, and if anything will probably encourage more like it because controversy is very profitable.

I’m not going to say I can’t see why a lot of disabled people are a bit upset over this film, I’m not even going to say they’re wrong to feel that way, it’s not my place to decide that. If you really want to get into the politics of it I’d say the bigger problem (of which both sides of the argument are guilty) is the grouping together of disabled people as one entity. It’s not a community, I don’t know Stephen Hawking and I resent the assumption that I automatically give a shit about other disabled people, because unless I know them, I probably don’t. (I have this argument with my mother every time she scolds me for not watching the Paralympics because I’m “supposed to be inspired.”)

In summary, in regard to the film, I don’t think it was meant to offend, I’m a big fan of Hanlon’s razor as a principle with these things, never attribute to malice what is more easily explained by carelessness or stupidity. Also, unless you yourself have quadriplegia, I think it’s a bit presumptuous to get offended by the notion of someone with it choosing to end their own life. I don’t know what it’s like, and neither do you, having said that, it does feel like taking the easy way out to end the film that way.

So my conjecture is, the worst thing Me Before You appears guilty of, is getting a lot of attention without necessarily being a compelling enough film to warrant it. I’m more annoyed with the people who assume I’d be offended than I am with the film itself.

Ranking the Marvel Cinematic Universe

Hello all, it’s been a while since I updated this blog, frankly the amount of typing I had to do for uni work was getting me down to the point I didn’t even want to write anything recreationally, but with that all over with, I figured a new blog post was in order. I’ve been going to the cinema a lot lately (it’s one of my favourite things to do, which makes it great that I live so close) and obviously a recent movie to hit theatres has been Captain America: Civil War. Due to having different friends wanting to see it at different times, I’ve seen this one four times so far, and may yet see it again, (this hasn’t happened since Thor: The Dark World) but yeah it’s great, but how does it compare to the rest?

I imagine anyone who sees this with any interest will probably have seen others rank the MCU movies in order of preference, but I like to think (possibly wishfully) that my opinion is unique enough to warrant me doing the same thing here, I’ll be ranking all thirteen of them from worst to best in my personal opinion and explaining as best I can why they fall where they do, (I will also preface this by saying I like all of them, just to deter anyone calling me a hater of this or that.) So without further padding for length, let’s begin. (I’ll try to keep spoilers to a minimum) I’ll also mention that the top eight or so were absolute agony to choose the order.

Number 13: The Incredible Hulk

What can I say about this one? The Hulk as a concept was just never one of my favourites, I appreciate the whole Jekyll and Hyde thing he’s got going on, the struggle to maintain control is done very well here, and this film is a very good depiction of The Hulk as far as I can see, but I just never really got into him as a solo act. What it does, this film does well, but what it does doesn’t interest me all that much. I know the decision to re-cast Edward Norton down the line was made out of necessity and not for artistic reasons, but let’s be honest Norton was pretty generic here as far as protagonists go, he wasn’t bad, but I struggle to remember a single line of dialogue from him here or even most of the plot of the movie even after seeing it multiple times in the past, and that’s never a good sign. This is essentially a monster movie on steroids and it does a perfectly serviceable job of that, Tim Roth is a fun, if a little nonsensical villain, but I think there’s a good reason Hulk hasn’t had a 2^nd solo outing to date.

Number 12: Iron Man 2:

I think most who see this knew that this would be here, Iron Man 2 just doesn’t click the way others do, Jon Favreau is a fantastic director and Robert Downey Jr. is…Robert Downey Jr. enough said, but as services to the overarching narrative go, this is about as close to jogging-in-place as any of these films get. I think Marvel tried to cash-in on the recent career “revival” of Mickey Rourke with all the good press The Wrestler got at the time, but he’s really not that interesting in this. By the end I didn’t even remember what his motivation was, I think he wanted to kill Iron Man because something to do with his dad dying? And Justin Hammer (I forget the actor name) just wants to one-up Tony Stark, who is dying anyway, and because of this saw fit to leave his company to Gwyneth Paltrow, I mean…why? I’m pretty sure that’s it. Don Cheadle turns in a good performance as War Machine and this film gets it’s due for introducing Scarlett Johanson’s Black Widow, but as a standalone, it just doesn’t have much more going for it, I like it, but it’s not great.

Number 11: Iron Man

When writing this list out for the first time, I was as surprised as I imagine you are that I put Iron Man so low, this is the one that started everything, and I love it for that, but as a film, it suffers a bit from being a superhero movie before it was cool. Marvel Studios hadn’t found its groove yet and as a result, what we have here is a basically okay film with some great moments here or there. Nick Fury’s first Avengers teaser didn’t hold much meaning for me at the time, as I wasn’t versed in comic books back then and didn’t know what it meant, but with the benefit of hindsight, I can see the significance. (Especially since I have at various points binge-watched the whole lot with friends.)

The first appearance of the Iron Man suit is instantly iconic, the soundtrack is great (Iron Man’s first flight remains one of the scenes that come to mind to this day when I think of the MCU) and Robert Downey Jr. as we’ve established is, of course, Robert Downey Jr. and therefore fantastic. On the flipside, the villain is almost completely forgettable, (albeit with one memorable line (box of scraps) which is more than Whiplash ever got) the story is all over the map, much like Iron Man himself, who doesn’t seem to have much of a character arc beyond realising “building weapons is bad m’kay?” and of all the people to cast as Pepper Potts they chose Gwyneth Paltrow, I mean… why?

Number 10: Thor: The Dark World

I really wanted to put this one higher on the list, but in the name of being as fair as possible, I just can’t. I love this one, I’m the easiest lay in the world for stuff like this, I love a good high-fantasy setting and Asgard just looks amazing, and the accompanying score is perfect. Anthony Hopkins is a great Odin, Loki is as fun as ever, and it’s got Roy from The IT Crowd in it! This isn’t all the film has going for it either, but narratively, for the most part, this film has some problems I can’t ignore and just feels a bit rushed on the whole, like it’s more about aesthetics than pacing as we’re taken from one lavish set-piece to the next interspersed with the odd scene in London.

This is another one suffering from ‘Forgettable Villain’ syndrome. Christopher Eccleston does what he can, but he’s not in the film all that much, and as well as following him as the villain in Thor he also has to compete with Loki for attention in this one, which is not a challenge any villain would be wise to accept. Loki steals the show to the point that the actual villain of the piece seems all but inconsequential. Also, I was never a fan of the Thor/Jane Foster relationship, it felt forced in the first one, and it’s not much better here, as a device to motivate Thor it does the job I suppose but I kind of think they could’ve just been friends and not much would need to change. A perfectly adequate and entertaining film, but nothing game-changing.

Number 9: Avengers: Age of Ultron

I really hope it doesn’t speak ill of any of these films that thus far they’re so low on the list, I enjoyed this one a lot, but that said, taken as a film I think this is where it belongs. Joss Whedon in all fairness had a lot to do here, this one film had to be its own self-contained story, while also introducing two new characters in Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch, setting up for Infinity War, while also setting up for Civil War while also setting up for Thor: Ragnarok, and introducing elements for Black Panther somewhere down the line.

Add to that the responsibility to have some semblance of established character development here as well, and that’s a lot on your plate. I must, therefore, ask the question of why he thought a completely out-of-the-blue romance subplot between Bruce Banner and Black Widow was a good idea. I suppose without it Bruce himself would be a bit of a non-entity. Mark Ruffalo is great (so much better than Edward Norton) and it would be a complete waste for him to simply serve as an angry plot-device like in Avengers.

Having said that, even in that his chemistry and buddy-dynamic with Tony Stark is a stroke of genius, the same would be true here, but with everything else going on, interpersonal chemistry is a rare thing when it has to struggle with such a convoluted plot. That said, in spite of the seemingly sequel-minded narrative, James Spader is morbidly hilarious as Ultron, Jarvis becoming The Vision was handled well in my opinion. Jeremy Renner is great as the down-to-earth one of the group in Hawkeye, which is a definite improvement over spending most of the film brainwashed. Quicksilver is fun for the moments he has, but Scarlett Witch is the most interesting one of the two. Overall it’s a fun way to kill a few hours, but if you’re not up on the continuity so far you may not want to start here.

Number 8: Ant-Man

I really liked Ant-Man, in spite of the famously troubled development of the film, Marvel put together something really solid here, the screenplay retains just enough of former director Edgar Wright to be distinctive, (there are some very Wright-esque scenes such as the exposition flashbacks.) It’s clever, it’s funny, Paul Rudd is instantly believable as the good-intentioned but supremely unlucky and out of his depth protagonist, bringing with him a hilarious supporting-cast of loveable crooks. The decision to retroactively introduce Hank Pym as a previous Ant-Man makes for a much more efficient means of Scott mastering his powers since he can actually be taught rather than figure it out on the fly like we’ve seen so many times. Anthony Mackie gets in a fun cameo, Michael Douglas is great in the role of Hank Pym and his chemistry with Evangeline Lily as Hope is undeniable. While not particularly striking, Corey Stoll makes an unsettlingly callous and unstable Yellowjacket. The action in this one is brilliantly inventive utilizing the Ant-Man’s unique skillset to sometimes hilarious effect. In short, it’s a fun ride, and every bit the comedic undertone of the universe that Iron Man is.

Number 7: Iron Man 3

Speaking of, it really was agony deciding where to put this in relation to the two around it, and yes, Iron Man 3 is my favourite one, (come at me I’ll fight you!) technically positioning itself as a Christmas movie (being set at Christmas, and released in Summer so the DVD would be out at Christmas) this is my go-to suggestion for making those post-Christmas meal family gatherings interesting. It also doesn’t hurt that it’s functionally the best of the three, simultaneously taking a grand scale national crisis plotline and a small-scale personal growth subplot for the man himself, I was never bored at any point watching this one. As usual Robert Downey Jr. is Robert Downey Jr. and hence, brilliant, but I think in hindsight that hasn’t ended up being a point in the favour of the Iron Man series. RDJ’s Tony Stark is so good that he can’t help but steal the show and sort of highlights how unremarkable most of the rest of the cast are, at least in the last two. Don Cheadle is always a reliable second-fiddle and one of the few consistently good things about the supporting cast along with Jon Favreau’s Happy Hogan, who’s always good for comic relief (even though he’s not in this one much.) Now, I can’t really talk about Iron Man 3 without addressing a certain elephant in the room, namely The Mandarin, and the twist surrounding that character. I actually really like that twist, yeah I know it’s not faithful to the comics and basically reduces The Mandarin to a one-note joke, but The Mandarin in his comic book form was, to put it tactfully, RACIST AS FUCK!

A faithful adaptation of The Mandarin would mean creating a caricature that even Mr. Popo would call racially insensitive (look it up if you need to) and such a character would never have made it into a major motion picture, and nor should it. (Besides, Trevor Slattery is hilarious) and I see this as simply acknowledging that we live in the 21^st century, so if you’re butt-hurt about The Mandarin not being a straight-faced racist caricature, you really need to accept that it was never going to happen and get over it. (Yes I am aware of the All Hail the King short that more or less established the existence of an actual Mandarin, but I highly doubt it will ever lead to anything, in fact, I hope it doesn’t)

With that said, if you are going to take away a villain with presence, (and Ben Kingsley gave his Mandarin a lot of that) then you should at least replace it with something, Guy Peirce is fine, and gives a good turn of the villain motivation, “My hero was a dick to me years ago, and now I’m going to destroy him” as good a motivation as any and makes particular sense in relation to Iron Man given the character’s famed arrogance, but again, Killian just comes off as another “villain of the week” which is getting harder and harder to combat the more movies there end up being, also towards the end Tony is saved by Gwyneth Paltrow, I mean…why?

Number 6: Thor

This is a film that is completely unashamed to be what it is, and I love that.  As I mentioned above I’m a very easy lay for a high-fantasy setting, and I love the aesthetic of the Thor films particularly in Asgard, the accompanying soundtrack also being among the better outings on this list. the stuff down on earth is good too, Coulson and S.H.I.E.L.D basically do the job as petty antagonists just getting in the way before Loki sets the destroyer loose, and speaking of, I’d be remiss if I didn’t talk about Loki’s character arc, which, was, Devastating! The most sympathetic villain in the MCU thus far and the only villain that steals every scene he’s in, and that performance here is likely what landed him the role of the big bad in The Avengers. Unfortunately the earth-located parts of the storyline can be a bit hit-and-miss, there are some brilliantly funny moments, and the supporting cast is generally great, but as I said before I found the Thor/Jane Foster relationship kind of forced, again, they could just be friends and the result would be basically the same. A little bit of information here, in Norse Mythology Thor, is married to Sif, who is present in this movie, frankly, if you must shoehorn a romance angle into the movie, why not that? They even referenced it in the sequel. Regardless of that, it’s a nice story with a great cast, plenty of laughs and a genuinely iconic villain.

Number 5: Captain America: The First Avenger

Okay Top 5, and this is the one I expect will surprise a lot of you, there’s just something about this one, it’s old-fashioned, and unashamedly just the right amount of cheesy, I mean old-fashioned in the sense that it put me in mind of the sort of Indiana Jones-esque adventure movie you just don’t see these days, complete with a sense of humour and a healthy level of unabashed sincerity that all come together to form something that is unlike anything else in the MCU. Captain America doesn’t suffer from the overshadowing problems of the Iron Man movies, in fact, if anything it works as an ensemble feature, Cap himself is the obvious lead and Chris Evans plays the slightly dorky but endearingly well-meaning protagonist to a tee. Steve Rogers is simply a nice guy, to have him say with a straight face “I don’t wanna kill anyone, I don’t like bullies,” which in movie terms is a very 80s sentiment, takes a very special kind of confidence.

I mentioned earlier that this movie could be seen as an ensemble piece, this is because unlike Iron Man, Captain America never threatens to overshadow his own movie, this is not to say he’s unremarkable, far from it, Chris Evans does a great job as the genuinely nice guy that is Steve Rogers and the supporting cast get their chance to endear themselves to the audience, in particular, Hayley Atwell’s Agent Carter, who as we know by now, got her own series. Tommy Lee Jones is also very amusing as the General, who, instead of using the old and tired cliché of the hardened army badass, (although he is very much that) also give him a dry and sarcastic sense of humour that contrasts incredibly with Steve’s straight-faced sincerity. Now, onto the other side of this film’s conflict. Something else that puts this film above so many others is its villain, Hugo Weaving’s Red Skull I imagine would be quite a polarising figure, but I think it’s great. His backstory is essentially being too extreme for the Nazis, which is impressive in itself. This is pure comic book cheesiness at its most unabashed, and I couldn’t love it enough for that.

Number 4: Guardians of the Galaxy

Come on, you knew this was going be top 5, as deliberate a B-movie as it gets, this one could be considered the film that encapsulates its own ideals more completely than anything else on this list. What are those ideals? Basically “We’re in space, we’re licensed to use a ton of 80s music, let’s just have a good time.” Largely separate from the rest of the expansive continuity Guardians of the Galaxy is free to just be it’s own thing, Peter ‘Starlord’ Quill, played here brilliantly by Chris Pratt was abducted from earth 30 years ago, nothing that’s been going on there gets his attention. Somehow he still has a Sony Walkman circa 1980 in working order, which, as a device to justify a delightfully 80s soundtrack, does a fantastic job, the tone of this film is very jokey and light-hearted, which suits the characters here right down to the ground, Vin Diesel himself I found a bit wooden (sorry, I had to) in all seriousness, for the one line he has to repeat, he does well. The personality of Groot shines through beautifully, and the credit for that really does have to go to the animation department. Speaking of whom, they also do a stellar job bringing to life Rocket Raccoon, voiced here excellently by Bradley Cooper (though leading up to release I heard rumours H. Jon Benjamin was in the running for the part, and cannot help but wonder what could have been, Cooper was great though so can’t complain.)

Drax the Destroyer is instantly Dave Bautista’s best acting role, (not that that’s saying much) the former wrestler is an instantly believable presence as the musclebound alien with no concept of metaphor, (a catalyst for some hilarious dialogue) and Zoe Saldana might just be the queen of sci-fi right now, her character Gamora could so easily have been just another bog-standard Hollywood ice-cold tough-gal you’ve seen a thousand times, but Saldana plays her part to a tee, and acts out a great script and character arc so well, that she makes the archetype her own in spectacular fashion. Chris Pratt is Chris Pratt, his personality here will not surprise you, he’s endearingly immature, and obsessed with music, using Footloose as an example to convince Gamora of the joys of dancing, citing Kevin Bacon as “A great hero.” I may be simplifying his character a bit, his obsession with 80s music comes from a cassette Walkman he carries around, which is the only thing he has left of his life on Earth (or Terra as they call it in the film.) despite this, for whatever reason, he’s never gone back even though he must’ve had the opportunity at some point, but maybe the fact that his last Earth memory is losing his mother can explain his reluctance.

Establishing four main characters, as well as an antagonist, and their subordinates (particularly when there are as many as there are here) in a two and a half hour runtime is no easy task, but Guardians manages it admirably, I like Ronan the Accuser, he’s appropriately villainous and a believable threat for the most part, but somewhat one-dimensional and still not on the level of Loki, who we now must acknowledge as the yard-stick against which all villains shall be judged. Even so, the film jumps about between characters just enough that it doesn’t really matter without it feeling too forced. The real question is not whether they can beat the big bad, but whether these four different, yet equally difficult individuals can be made to coexist (outside of Groot and Rocket who already do.)

From a world-building perspective, this film is a curious one, it’s almost completely separate from the rest of the continuity, and as such you could quite happily watch this one without having seen any of the others and not feel lost at all. Having said that the Easter Eggs here are all over the place so it rewards franchise knowledge without punishing any lack thereof. It also makes a good first step in establishing the much less grounded and more “out-there” parts of the Marvel universe, creating a precedent for a much more whimsical take on the series in a way that hasn’t really been done before.

I’ve not even mentioned some of the supporting cast but if I don’t wrap this up now I could go on forever, bottom line; Guardians of the Galaxy is probably the most fun you’ll have with any film in the MCU, it doesn’t take itself seriously, yet is confident enough to be straight-faced when it has to, and I would recommend it to the seasoned and uninitiated alike, along with anyone else for that matter.

Number 3: Captain America: Civil War

Good God it was difficult to decide where this went. As mentioned, I’ve seen this four times at time of writing, and it is glorious. Arguably a better follow-up to The Avengers than Age of Ultron was, this film deals with the long-term effects of a team of super-powered individuals running around unchecked by any system of authority, I don’t think it’s a spoiler at this point to say that this is the main cause of conflict within the team. Essentially, the governments of the world are no longer willing to tolerate the (to be fair, massive) collateral damage that The Avengers tend to leave behind in their battles. Based on the 2005 event comic Civil War this sees Captain America and Iron Man, who have had frequent little arguments over ideological differences, finally butt heads over those differences. Essentially those differences boil down to the question “Should the Avengers operate as a government outfit?” Iron Man seems all in favour along with a good deal of the rest of the team, Cap on the other hand is completely opposed. The idea of putting the power of the Avengers in the hands of “people with agendas” doesn’t sit well with him, for fear that their handlers may stop them from doing the right thing, or force them to do something they shouldn’t. Stark on the other hand, weighed down by the guilt of everything, feels that the Avengers are too dangerous to run around unchecked and need to be answerable to someone, saying “we need to be put in check, whatever form that takes, I’m game.”  I find myself ideologically on “team Cap” if you’re wondering, and that has nothing to do with the fact that Iron Man’s movies came lower on this list, or with the fact that, in Iron Man 2 Tony was singing completely the opposite tune about this exact same issue, because believe it or not I don’t see that as hypocritical as some do. A lot’s gone down since Iron Man 2. At that point Stark himself was arguably the only known Avenger, and he had no concept of things like the Chitauri or Asgardians or anything like that, I’d actually be worried if his perspective hadn’t changed. Even so, as I said, I find myself on Team Cap, even while acknowledging both have merits and problems. As I said before Tony and Steve have been butting heads on and off since Avengers (excellent slow-build by the way) over their different approaches. Seeing that come to a head here not only feels natural, but it feels like it was planned pretty far in advance, of course we knew the title of this one was going to be Civil War before Age of Ultron was released, so it probably was to an extent. The other interpersonal relationships here are done very well, with a surprising level of chemistry between Vision and Scarlett Witch, some fun banter between Bucky and Falcon, and Ant-Man fanboying over Captain America is fun. The Black Panther also gets a complete character arc even among so many other characters, to the point that I actually wonder what the first Black Panther movie will be about, since the things I’d expect to happen in that one more or less happen in the background here. Of course I can’t talk about Civil War without mentioning Spider-Man, Tom Holland was great, he didn’t overstay his welcome and established himself as a powerful presence, if a little underdeveloped but that was kind of the point. We weren’t forced to endure his origin story again, which was refreshing, for once a movie studio trusts that we know what happened to a character that was rebooted twice in the last decade or so. This has left me enthused for Spider-Man: Homecoming, which I can only assume was the goal here. I’ve seen a lot of people comparing this to Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice due to their superficially similar premises, but there really is no similarity, (people who have read earlier posts will already know what I think of Batman v. Superman, I was in a bad mood when I wrote that.) but on that note the only comparison I’m going to make is to quote Brentalfloss on his Facebook page, (may 9^th) as his opinion mirrors mine here, he writes “In 2 hours 33 minutes, Batman v. Superman couldn’t convincingly explain why two guys were fighting, Civil War nailed the explanation and execution of twelve people fighting and did it all with six fewer minutes of running time.”

I agree here completely, but it really isn’t fair to compare the two as Civil War sits on a dozen films worth of build-up, and uses it excellently, and more importantly, doesn’t try to mesh several stories together in a haphazard mess masquerading as world-building, therefore I’ll make no further comparisons.

Civil War rests comfortably on the bedrock of continuity the MCU has built up over the years and is very confident with it, the conclusion doesn’t feel very…well…conclusive, but then we always knew there were going to be follow-ups to this story, so that’s not really a problem. The film carries a bit of a mixed-bag ending, for me at least. Parts of this film were difficult to watch (and I’m not just talking about those friggin’ HUGE location titles, jarring as they were) because I’ve been invested in this universe for years, and to see these characters that I have grown attached to, and some younger viewers would have actually grown up with (I can’t believe it’s been eight years since Iron Man) fighting each other, as enjoyable as the fights were, the one at the climax especially carried a real weight with it. I wouldn’t call the ending a downer, as it ends on a somewhat optimistic note in spite of all that’s happened, but on first viewing I left the theatre asking myself “how do I actually feel about that?” there’s certainly a mix of emotions to be felt here.

In summary Captain America: Civil War is great, it is still definitely a Captain America film but it has the rest of the Avengers along for the ride, and none of them feel wasted or overused, and it also manages to develop the relationships between characters and introduce two new characters and their motivations. This is a lot for one film to manage and Marvel Studios pulled it off splendidly. Definitely see this one, but make sure you’re up on the continuity beforehand.

Number 2: The Avengers

The Avengers is where it is on this list for several reasons, its significance as the first multi-franchise crossover of its kind (at least on this scale) can’t be ignored, the payoff to five years of build-up and arguably the biggest event to date in the entire Superhero genre. The big question of whether or not this eclectic gathering of heroes could function in the same narrative was one hovering above the film from the moment it was announced. Joss Whedon, in a stroke of particular genius in my opinion, decided to make that basically the plot of the film, and y’know what? It works, it works like fucking gangbusters. The plot keeps itself simple, Loki has returned from his exile with a magic spear with mind-control powers and an army of aliens waiting to be brought to Earth, the plot? Nick Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D have to assemble the team and stop the bad guy, got it? Good. Okay, let’s get what negatives I do have out of the way, Hawkeye, who spends most of this film as Loki’s puppet, and Black Widow, who is mostly just there, are underdeveloped and don’t give you much reason to care. (Though admittedly this is difficult when they’re already competing with four other main characters.) The Hulk is basically an angry plot device that works when convenient, and the simultaneous mass-destruction of the Chitauri at the end is just a sin of contrived convenience, there, nit-picking done. The area this film really shines is in the character interactions, the contrasting personalities of each hero bounce of each other brilliantly. Particular praise has to go to the buddy dynamic between Tony Stark and Bruce Banner, I said before that Robert Downey Jr. has a habit of overshadowing his own films but he doesn’t do that here, his always-on quick-wittedness contrasts nicely with Mark Ruffalo’s soft-spoken, somewhat nervous demeanour, which offers some middle-ground for the scene that these two share with Captain America, who as usual is the naïve but determined boy-scout of the group.  This scene in particular sticks out in my mind as one of the first real illustrations of how different these characters are. Thor is kind of the odd one out in the interpersonal dynamic but that’s okay because he has Loki to play off who, as ever, chews up and spits out most every scene he’s in like the lovechild of a Shakespearian villain and the concept of sass.

The supporting cast are good too, Samuel L. Jackson is Samuel L. Jackson, which is great, Clark Gregg gives a memorable final performance as Agent Coulson (at least in the movies thus far) and even if you haven’t seen anything leading up to this the characters are all basically established in the story (obviously I had seen what came before, and it definitely helped, but I don’t think it was necessary.)

Then there’s the final battle with the alien army which is basically a firework party thrown in celebration that this film is even happening, but it definitely feels earned, all that build-up amounted to a satisfying payoff, and in short The Avengers is not quite flawless, but it’s a damn near flawless version of exactly what it’s trying to be, it is only by a hair’s breadth that I put this one below number 1.

Number 1: Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Yes, even after Civil War I still feel like this one belongs at number 1, this is the most subversive film of the lot both in plot and in execution, actually switching genres for part two, going from a retro cheese-fest adventure, to a modern spy thriller, albeit with a bit more Frisbee. Subversion remains a common theme throughout this film as midway through, a massive fixture throughout the entire continuity thus far is turned on it’s head, I promised I would be as spoiler-free as possible but let’s just say it makes for quite a coincidence in regards to a recent comic book twist involving Captain America.

This film is at number one because it uses the previous films as a jumping-off point in spectacular fashion, in a way that even Civil War didn’t quite match, Winter Soldier subverts the entire series thus far and takes the thoroughly old-fashioned Captain America and places him firmly in a gritty modern setting, with a dark, grounded, personal story. This is the kind of thing so many studios try to do and fail miserably. The Russo brothers knew exactly what they were doing here, bringing a golden-age character into modern times was always going to be problematic, because he simply wouldn’t fit in with modern ideals, rather than try to make him, they make the fact that he doesn’t a huge part of his character. It just works, I don’t say character arc because Cap really doesn’t have one, he’s every bit the incorruptible good-guy at the end as he is at the start, normally that would be a point to his detriment but here that’s the point, and because of it his character stands out all the more prominently, and mercifully the fish-out-of-water time displacement jokes that could easily have overpowered the tone of the film are kept to a good minimum. Sebastian Stan returns for a good run as The Winter Soldier, even if he’s not in the film a huge amount, but then he’s in it as much as he needs to be. Anthony Mackie is great as The Falcon, Cap’s soon-to-be regular wingman (pun intended) and all-round ace buddy, seriously this is the kind of man you want to have around in a crisis. Scarlett Johansson has the best chemistry she’s had with anyone so far with Chris Evans here, you really get the impression that they’ve been working together for a good while, her constantly ribbing him on his lack of any kind of a love life makes for some great dialogue, and I love the fact that there’s not even the suggestion of a romance there (beyond faking one to throw off pursuers I mean.) It’s almost as if people of the opposite sex can actually be in the same place without the need for a “will they/won’t they?” hanging over everything if you can imagine such an apparently outlandish concept. Sam Jackson is Sam Jackson, all good there, and Robert Redford brings a lot of depth to what could easily have been a one-note bureaucrat character, and it all comes together for just an all-round great cast.

This is the film that, out of all of them on this list I most hesitate to call a Superhero movie, and it also illustrates just how arbitrary a distinction that is. I don’t think it’s been particularly right to call Superhero films a genre for a while now, because they come across a large number of genres, but this is the one for which the distinction feels the most arbitrary, you could easily describe it as a sci-fi spy thriller, there just happens to be comic book characters in it. So many things in this movie on paper should not work, and they make it work, “realistic, dark and gritty” is a popular approach that more often than not just ruins an adaptation in a misguided attempt to be “serious”. Here though, not only does it work, it does so without compromising Captain America as a character. He is comic book goodness incarnate, and contagious to that effect towards the rest of the movie, I’ll say again, this should not work, and yet it does. Subversive really is the operative word here, and it does all of these things in a two-hour runtime that never feels long.

I could gush about this one forever but yeah, that’s why this one sits at number 1.

So, quick recap, the order is

#13 The Incredible Hulk

#12 Iron Man 2

#11 Iron Man

#10 Thor: The Dark World

#9 Avengers: Age of Ultron

#8 Ant-Man

#7 Iron Man 3

#6 Thor

#5 Captain America: The First Avenger

#4 Guardians of the Galaxy

#3: Captain America: Civil War

#2: The Avengers

#1 Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Bloody hell this was an undertaking, I didn’t expect to end up writing so much, anyone who’s shown the patience to have read the whole thing, thank you.

Do you agree with my list? Leave me a comment and let me know how wrong I am and why, although if you’re going to argue I do ask that you actually read why I put these where I did first.